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always bored. ngee. bella is sleepign and i just play neopets all the time and its suck. browsing in ebay and look at the tees and stuff that i want. i just came back from the library and borrow this 2 books but planning to read them later. uhh what more. yesterday i couldnt sleep. keep thinking bout how and why about myself. urgh really it sucks. watched medioum yesterday. i like medium. cool. but yeah im still bored i guess. really i am. argh ive got nuthing to do, no one to chat with.
im wishing that sumthing exciting will happen.aybe i’ll go out later to brooks and browse all the makeups tuff (again)
oh yeah i had coffee. uhh =/
whateva
im jusst freaking bored
maybe i should play wif my makeup’s and take pics
nah cant do. my hair is in a mess *&^%
ah whateva

is today.holiday. kak rose and abg jamie is at home today. so well.. cant do much on e web today lah.
yesterday night, uhh i watched Desprete Housewife, re-run. i meant that it showed the 2nd season again. so is Grey’s Anatomy. i wasnt feelng good tho *sigh* so well.. this neighbour, had a bbq party i guess so we can hear them chit-chatting and all.laughing and gossiping. it made me jealous. cuz u know why? i miss my friends.. miss talking and laughing with them. i miss my sister’s, the jokes and the moment we share together. i wish if only i have friends here.

maybe i should make the 1st move to make friends or whateva. but how? who is my mangsa? i dun wanna look like im a dork in the end =/
ahh whateva, i think it’s just only for a while until i’ll get back home. i really like US, but being alone is not that fun. being alone is like… nothing. of course i have mum and kak rose by my side, but i cant talk to them like we’re ‘friends’. like i wanna gossip, urgh mum is totally not y type. like i said to mum i nearly wanted to asked aziz for malique’s phone num, mum said like ‘please’
it kinda hurt me tho.i do really need a friend and im desprete for it. i miss my friends so so much =’[

yesterday: saturday,may 27 06
Jojo is sick =[[. well anyway, yesterday mum and i went to this malaysian gatering and stuff. kak Jalina pick us up and all. haha i couldnt stop eating really, with all the malaysian foo like mee kari and  wow a lot of stuff. i keep on stuffing myself with food. haha. well anyway i was totally bored cuz there’s noone my age that i could ‘talk’ to. u know bout..stuff and gossip and such. so just clinging on to mum and listen bout the older girl’s gossiping around =p

so well, soon this guy lah, his name is Aziz. i dunno how he end up talking to me and mum but he was kinda cool. mum asked hima bout what i should take and all and he said study in US better. he said dun worry bout my financial aids and stuff cuz they have loan and if im dead poor (which i think i am.hahaha) they give me like free scholrship or sumthing and he gave me a tip or two how to get into this like big shoot U’s in america. which is pretty cool and after talking to him i feel like i cant wait to go to U ok. seriously…

so well.. talking2. he ade la terselit die kate bout teens as posers (he didnt say poser lah. i dun think he even know what that word means ) lepak2 kat klcc and buy starbucks coffee everyday and keep wasting money and anak melayu terlalu dimanjakan (maaf ya kalau anda terasa pedas ) and anak lelaki dimanjakan and nak wife cam ibunya and lotsa stuff lah. He was impress when i said  i wroked in convention center and he said its a really high class place and all. but the most of all i just wanna jump on him (not practically really jump on him lah ok .hehe) is that when he said he’s malique (u know.. from too phat) friend. and he met malique from MRSM taiping. and he said malique was like that since MRSm and its was weird cuz u know lah malay is thinkk malique is like an alien pakai all this western stuff and he said now half of the teens in malaysia wear like him (like.. duh…) for me lah kan. i was so surpised that malique masuk MRSM. taiping lak tu. like taiping those days is like the top of the world of MRSM. really i terkejut cam katak tau. hahah . i tot  of asking malique’s phone num but i guess it would never happen lol

so yeah i got his email so i can Paw him anytime if i want malique’s phone num.haha. no le, i guess i just asked him about my stuff and what to do and all for U application and stuff. hurm.he’s a realllly nice guy. it’s like he so smart ok. he’s like gonna work in new york and he graduated from michigan and HARVAD. omg harvard ok!! hehe.. but he also said he wanted to wok in malaysia. even applied in kazanah or sumthing but sumthing lah.he x cukup experience or he’s too good for the kazanah people. ntah i didnt get that clearly. then balik ke rumahh kak jalina kejap and krose picks us up and nothing happen. except that johan sick and bella is being naughty =p

today, may 28,sunday
nothing happen much today. Johan is dead sick and kak rose bought him to the clinic.bella was so good. we went to umm sumwhere. its not my place anyway. (hahahah) i guess it talbots tho.
but i went to old navy and fock they dun sell stuff like in westgate. kat kedai ni cam serabut sikit layout dalam kedai tu.baik pegi westgate. im a person who goes to the clearence rack (teheheh i like bargain stuff ,since im not into fashion and shi* =p) and u know what?on  friday went to westgate right, so well i jalan2 cam biase cari baju and stuff kat hottopic and old navy and bla3. x kisah lah. tp i nie kan gile hottopic sket. then mase i balik bukak website hottpic, i nearly really wanna scream. u know why? cuz like clearence tshirt is like 5-8 bucks and  its like dirt cheap. i wish i’d look around and see stuff betul2 and buy. sedih tau.summore they have like cool t and stuff. man i nearly cried. tomorrow i wanna ask krose to send me there dun care la spend my money fisish that day and then =[[
can sumoone hug me and tell me its fine and it’ll be there for me? =’[
uwaaa. i just hope i can go there tomorrow since its monday and tomorrow monday cuti i think it’s memorial day or sumthing and if i cant then i naik bas turun wesgate on tue. huh x kesah x puas hati tau. nak pegi jugak.if they have it i wanna go and buy [fock ok, they have this skull-jacket. its pretty awesome. and its like 10 bucks. fock fock fock u know. i focking missed that!!!!!)

wah i dtill feel like screaming writing all this stuff
i think i better go before things gets out of hand
still… *&^%
i hope they still have it there…

and tomorrow maybe im not gonna be on.maybe i will.. tgk dulu
chatted wif amy this morning
and rushed to the umm johan school or sumthing
but johan didnt go anyway.he’s sick. so we went to the westgate mall
and bout the used thisrt of anyone. uh if they have like girls size i dah beli. newya they have this cool blouses and suh and i look like a dork wearing them.polka dots. the blouse its fuckin cool. really.. but argh i cant wear em =/ so sad tho
well anyway i just logged on to hottopic and guess what?
they have this thsirt sale and its like $6 each.like fock fock fock
i should have look around more or sumthing in westgate nyer hottopic.
hopefully yomorrow can go to south shore lah then boleh beli or sumthing..
ah gtg kena jaga bella
geram gileeeeeeeeeee
memang geram gile
urgh
nak gi hottopic
argh
i missed it
damn damn damn

are so much i would to say, i would like to express my self but pity, i dont know how.
i have too much feelings inside me,just wanting to go, but i dont know how.
i am a girl.who is lost in my own world.
how to express myself? when i dont know what is wrong with me. i blame it to my hormones.
whateva. really. am i myself? is this me? am i being what i am?
or i am not what i am and the real me is just sleeping inside me?
i feel rebelious, anger, love, betrayed , all at the same time.
but what trigger me in such ways until i have like so many feelings inside me until i couldnt let go?
uhh. sometimes i feel a loner. and im still feeling i am a loner.
a loner who doenst have much friends
and trying to make it into the world
but im scared too
im scared the more i tried, the more i fail
gah.whateva. i just think im feeling down

sorry i havet update blog. malas. hehe
ummwell. i think i told u right that mum doesnt know that i myself bought this thrice shirt and this like cute polo tee with the skull at the pocket.
she thinks i bought it for a ‘friend’
im feeling sick actually. haha just feeling ’sick’
ah im sick of life. can just sumone shot me and i can RIP?
gah. im crazy and i know that. seriously im bored
a lot of flicking lately at the store near my house
lotsa makeups. ngahahaha
oh well. maybe i flick more tomorrow. whateva

so today..what happen today? nuthin much
just bored like all the way to heaven
and i have 9 weeks left in USA
and i havent make most of my time with it.
err.. im just.. i dunno
im too bored
and like only sha ,bee & thea je willing to chat wif me
yang lain hampeh (im really kinda pissed with sumone right now. oh wtf)

maybe i should visit sha’s blog and just hang out there
i need coffee
vanilla coffee
wohooo
ahh so im bored bored bored

well anyway i just got home from south shore mall and i cant be long here
im sorry it took me forever to update and stuff
i never thought of saying this but im getting boried of friendster and myspace
*ouch.
well anyway i bought these cool blouse. at hottopic. and a trice tshirt
*psst.. mum didnt knew its like for me. i told its for a friend. upsi daisy?*
ahh well i just wanna write that cuz im excited?
hahaha well gtg. abg jamie lak nak gune
bye2 and *muaxx

tomorrow going to the circus =]]
cant wait but i cant use the camera that i bought already =’[
uhh anyway.. one of my dearest friend have a big problem and i just hope she can cope and take care of herself.im worried...

and keep on smsing one of this another friend..haha harap2 prepaid x habis lol kalau x kena tanggung sendiri *dush. la dah aku nie x de duit sgt
uhuu
wahteva.. i am farking bored
today is friday and johan is usally off on friday so he stayed at home and i dunno why this week bella memang susah sgt nak tido.seriously mase nak buat die tido kena biar die nangis.. baru die boleh tido. [we didnt hurt her ok]

and umm tday is pizza day cuz mum malas nak masak so uhh kak rose have this pizza punye base yang roti tu so mum and i buat cheese pizza and its good. seriously.. we put a lot of sos and a lot of cheese and it doesnt cost us much… and its goooood…
mmm.. pizza..

well anyway im reading this book, photography for dummies.. i think i should really take it seriously..
and im still thinking what course to masuk nanti kat U.. nak amik computer stuff ke? i think i should cuz i am a computer geek. well not a geek la tp i slalu duk depan comp je tiap2 ari…and not suprisingly i never got bored of it..ngahaha

kak rose balik awal tadi and my addiction.. well im still addicted to tabacco’s but its been like 3 months since i had any and still tgh tahan.. uhh.. hampir2 nak beli aritu but i couldnt do it. seriously.. i was so scared about everything.. gah

my space is a bit to over.. but i like the pic in my page… haha. im a dork. dorky me. uhh what else.. nothing much..today i think have deal or no deal and that game show is wicked [well sumtimes its damn boring] and maybe kak mel is coming to US!! (yipee) oh i didnt chat with her tday.. uhh friday sat and sun im off ok..

oh well thats about it i guess

3 days. gosh dammit. tp x pe.. nanti pegi library. so i finished reading this one cool book. its about internet love and a fat fat gurl/. haha wateva. its really nice. kinda funny in a way. keep on smiling reading the book.

and something wonderful happen.. kak mel chatted with me. i m so happy.. i can jump here and there like a monkey =p i love u kaka me;.. <3333

yesterdy bella couldnt sleep well.. 1 jam je tido
arini boleh pulak.. dah 2 ja.. ahah i x mandi2 lagi
uhh busuk. i know =P

weekend pegi to this circus. oh i wish i have my camera =[[
i did not return the camera yet but the feeling of it makes me sick
kak jas think i should go for the slim camera
but i would like th camera cam photographer
not the big2 one
just like for a begginer
i like taking pictures
i think it all went back till i was a kid
wasting my films on stupid photographs
m send me to this photography course
and i cant recall what did i do there =p

anything else? oh well i cant recall anything cuz my mind is like stuck
gah.. i edit2 my ms page.. i dunno what to do..or any idea what to do with it
#$^&
dont know which wallpaper to put and all
whateva
uhh
im bored
like f-ed up bored
ahh whateva

malas nak update fs punye page
muahahaa
im strange
dont u think so?